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Writer's pictureLaurie Larsen

Will I Still Be Married in Heaven?


During my journey reading the Bible in a year, when I came across a verse that generated today’s topic, it blew my mind!  I talked to my husband about it as well and similarly, he found it hard to believe as well!


I titled this essay with a question so let me just answer it straight away:  Will I still be married in heaven?  The answer is … NO.


What??  How about if I prayed to God to help me find the right mate, how about if I got married in a church, blessed by a clergy member, how about if we’ve lived a God-filled marriage?  Then, will we still be husband and wife when we both go to heaven?


And the answer is still … NO.


Mark 12:25 says: (Jesus is speaking …) “When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage.  They will be like the angels in heaven.” (NIV)

Luke 20:34-35: Jesus replied, “The people of this age marry and are given in marriage. But those who are considered worthy of taking part in the age to come and in the resurrection from the dead will neither marry nor be given in marriage.” (NIV)


That sounds pretty indisputable; there will be no marriage in heaven.  But why?  Think of all the funeral services you’ve been to, and the deceased will be joining their spouse in heaven because they were both faithful followers of Jesus.  That’s one way that we, as close friends or family members can find some comfort in their deaths, is knowing that they will be reunited as man and wife in heaven.


Hope Bolinger, in her Crosswalk article Will I Still Be Married to My Spouse in Heaven, offers this insight: God designed marriage. Essentially, we marry on earth to be a reflection of Jesus Christ and the church. By marrying, we avoid sexual sin, and we produce offspring to fill the earth.


But in heaven, temptation doesn’t exist and neither does sin, eradicating those two purposes of human marriage. Third, earthly marriage is a reflection of the relationship between Christ and the Church. But in heaven, we are all part of Christ’s collective bride as the Church. Why settle for a reflection when we have the best kind of marriage at our fingertips in heaven: the marriage of Christ and his Church?


To help us absorb this spiritual concept, let’s think about this: why do two people get married in the first place? 

·        They love each other and want to devote themselves to monogamous love.

·        They want to have children and raise a family.

·        Marriage allows them to combine income and savings, buy property together, leave property to each other in the case of death.

·        They can take advantage of tax benefits.

·        Marriage prevents loneliness and the unwanted reality of being alone in life.

 

Assuming all those points are accurate about earthly marriage, let’s go back through them with a heavenly lens.  Would those points still exist in heaven?  Would any of them exist in heaven?


No.  In heaven we don’t create new children, have income, pay taxes, buy property and no one is lonely! 


So maybe marriage on earth doesn’t exist in heaven because it’s simply not needed in heaven.  It’s an earthly construct that doesn’t translate to our heavenly existence.


Hmmm, okay, I’m starting to see this.  But I have some questions:


I may not be married to my spouse in heaven, but will I still have a special love for him and is it reciprocated?  In Hope Bolinger’s previously referenced article, she says, “You will still love your spouse because the very nature of God is love. He fills heaven with his glory (Ezekiel 1). In new un-sinful bodies and becoming more like Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17), we will love in heaven more than we ever loved on earth. You will live with your beloved husband or wife forever in heaven. The two of you will continue to grow together in love, understanding, happiness, and joy to all eternity. Death has no power over what God has joined together.”


I like that.  But … What about other family relationships?  Will my children still be my son/daughter? Will I still be their mother in heaven? I’m not aware of any Bible verses that address this specific question. More than the question of marriage in heaven, I believe this answer is up to a higher level of interpretation.  John MacArthur, in his book The Glory of Heaven, addresses it this way:


“We will be reunited not only with our own families and loved ones, but also with the people of God from all ages. In heaven we will all be one loving family. The immense size of the family will not matter in the infinite perfection of heaven. There will be ample opportunity for close relationships with everyone, and our eternity will be spent in just that kind of rich, unending fellowship.


“If you're worried about feeling out of place in heaven, don't. Heaven will seem more like home than the dearest spot on earth to you. It is uniquely designed by a tender, loving Savior to be the place where we will live together for all eternity and enjoy Him forever--in the fullness of our glorified humanity.”


Wow.  After reading these paragraphs, I breathed a big sigh of relief! Because by worrying about will I be married in heaven, will I be a mother, etc., I think we’re missing the whole point! 


Let’s focus on the things we are certain of:  there will be immense love in heaven, there will be no pain, there will be no deprivation, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit will be there for us to experience all the time.  Everything we love about life on earth? Something like it or even better will be in heaven.  Everything we hate about life on earth?  It won’t exist there, my friends.


You remember the 1988 single by performer Bobby McFerrin?  It started with a peppy, carefree whistle, then added some a capella vocal rhythms, until finally Bobby’s Jamaican-accented voice, Don’t Worry, Be Happy.


That’s the message I want you to take from this essay today. First of all, we don’t know exactly what heaven will be like, because we are interpreting the Bible and not all of us have the same interpretation. But one thing we can all count on is that heaven will be wonderful, and infinitely better than earth.


So, don’t worry, be happy.


Dear Lord, please help us to focus on your promise of a loving, happy, beautiful after-life in heaven for those devoted followers who will join you there.  Help us to remember that just as your devoted apostle Paul wrote to the Corinthians, “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully.” Amen.

 

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